How to stay safe and sane in a world gone mad

I have to confess I am still unable to engage with any news since the election. I feel like I’m watching a clown car crashing into a flaming dumpster on the deck of the Titanic, and all I can do is duck and cover. 

For example: I know there are serious questions about election irregularities I will eventually explore (not that it will make any difference), so thanks to readers who have shared those with me. Soon. Not today.

Today’s cheery newspostletterblog is about how to operate in this new reality.  

As Breaking Bad’s Walter White (and his partner/nemesis Gus Fring) might tell you, hiding in plain sight is the most effective way to survive. Operate as a “law abiding” [1] citizen in public, and work with your tribe to restore sanity in private.

My basic advice in a nutshell: Assume the worst. Accept that anything you do and say online will be held against you (as well as anything you said and did in the past), that the people who are ascending to power have zero moral or ethical boundaries, and that the Constitution will not protect you. We’ve already seen what happens when SCOTUS gets the opportunity to expand the powers of the executive branch. Imagine what they’ll do to the 1st, 4th, and 5th Amendments.

With those uplifting thoughts in mind, here’s my advice on things to do over the next six weeks and beyond. 

Clean up your (old) act

If, like me, you have been generous with your political opinions online, you might want to consider tossing some or all of them down the memory hole. [2] Piss off the wrong people online and they will comb through your social media history for something to indict and/or threaten you with. Worse, it’s a treasure trove for any suddenly empowered law enforcement authorities who don’t like your opinions and wish to make an example of you. 

I just discovered an app that does this quite efficiently. Block Party can scan your current settings for all the major social media platforms, automatically update your settings to maximize your privacy, and completely nuke your account if requested. As I write this, Block Party is dumping what’s left of my abandoned Xitter account, deleting nearly 17 years’ worth of Tweets, ‘likes,’ and DMs. Bye bye, birdie. 

Block Party plugs into your Chrome browser and is available as a 7-day free trial or annually for $20 as I write this (use the promo code JOINTHEPARTY).

Dump that shitty social media platform

I can’t believe I have to say this, but: If you’re still on Xitter after all that Elon has done, what in the name of all that is holy is wrong with you? The same goes if you’re still arguing with your crazyass uncle/Q-following former babysitter on Facebook. Stop. Just stop.

Guardian columnist Carole Cadwalladr put this very succinctly and starkly, along with 19 other tips for surviving the next 4 (8, forever) years:

I know this leaves a void in many people’s lives, which is why so many Xitter addicts have flocked to alternative platforms such as Threads, Mastodon, and Bluesky. Since the election, more than 20 million new people have joined Bluesky, which has the advantage of not being controlled by a fascist-friendly Meta-billionaire (Threads) or being hopelessly nerdy (Mastodon). Bluesky also makes it easier to find people you actually want to follow, and to block those who don’t. It’s not perfect, but it’s not Elon or Mark, either. (I can be found on Bluesky here. Come on by and say ‘howdy’.) Just be careful what you say there.

Create a new online persona

If you must engage with these troglodytes, do it pseudonymously. 

Like the old joke about investing, the best time to start creating a fictional online persona was ten years ago. The second best time is today. But you need to go all in. It’s not enough to create a fake Facebook identity and be done, because at least some of the people you’re engaging with will figure out pretty quickly it’s a sockpuppet account, and may try to uncover your real identity. 

You need to establish a presence on all the usual platforms and post regularly to each of them. The larger and more active your digital footprint, the more believable it will be. Minimize or eliminate any connections between those personae and your actual one, starting with a fake email address. 

I wrote about how to do this nine years ago, and it got some attention at the time. I think most of those tips still hold true. I would add that using a VPN app to obscure your actual IP address would be another good idea.

So get to work, Alan Smithee.

Meet the dickheads where they live

A good friend (and faithful reader of The Tynan Files) is using pseudonymity in an interesting way. They have created a persona in the guise of a T****p supporter, in order to engage with his fans in an empathetic way and ask thoughtful questions. For example: 

“I was really on board with #47’s plan to stop illegal immigration; now avocados cost $20 apiece and I can’t find anyone to take care of my child. I’m so disillusioned. Did you think that would happen?” [3]

Their idea is to provide a sympathetic voice to help guide them back to reality. Carole Cadwalladr put it this way in her essay on how to survive the Broligarchy:

I know – expecting most of these people to answer a thoughtful question is like asking a snake to do pull-ups. But good luck and godspeed to anyone willing to endure these dialogs. 

Organize quietly and safely

The Electronic Frontier Foundation has published an extensive guide titled “Surveillance Self Defense” on how to organize and protest without endangering your liberty. It’s a large document, but this is a good place to start.

And if you want to consider supporting the EFF’s ongoing efforts to protect our digital freedoms, you can do that here.

Shut the f**k up

If you are ever detained by The Man, remember this helpful, slightly profane advice from the National Lawyers Guild.

A note of thanks

In dark times, my instinct is to gather the tribes and huddle with those I love. Thanksgiving provides an excellent excuse for doing that (if you can also avoid getting into it with Crazy Uncle Q – Gil Duran of FrameLab has some helpful advice on that score).

Thanks to all of you who have read and shared this newspostblogletter with your friends, and who’ve reached out over the past 18 months via comments and emails. I will think of you fondly while I’m recovering from my tryptophan coma.

What are you thankful for? Share your thoughts in the comments or email me: [email protected]. 

[1] Remember when we had laws?

[2] There is also an argument for open defiance, if you’re willing to take that risk. But at this point, I think organizing privately is a better long-term survival plan.

[3] Not an actual question… yet.