We are all information warriors

If you use the Internet for more than reading email or playing Candy Crush Extremis, you're in a battle for the future of the planet. You've been enlisted, whether you like it or not. So it's time to strap on your helmet and gear up, soldier.

Here's why.

The algorithms that drive websites and social media platforms are unbelievably nosy. They have memories like elephants who are also members of MENSA. They record every click and tap, every swipe of your finger or swerve of your mouse; they even record when your cursor is just sitting there winking at you (it's called 'hover time', not to be confused with Hammer Time). They then make instantaneous decisions about what they think you should do or watch next.

Here's the other really annoying thing about algorithms: They're completely clueless as to what you actually think or feel. They assume that if you are paying attention to something, you want to see more of it. Even if you click the little thumbs-down icon next to it or leave a scathing comment beneath. It's called engagement, and it is the curse of our digital age.

ICYMI: The AI bomb is about to explode

It doesn't matter if you're watching something that turns your stomach or sends you into a sputtering rage. Algorithms feed on outrage the way blue whales feed on krill. Worse, they'll send this nasty bit of digital offal to people they think are similar to you, based on all of the above. The more attention something gets today, the more attention it will get tomorrow — a self-fulfilling cycle.

Even worse than that: The more often something completely nonsensical or outrageous is repeated, the more normal it seems, and the more people who start to believe it.

This is why debating Nazis, white supremacists, Elon fluffers, incels who know what's best for the women who won't go anywhere near them, or nutmuffins who believe the NFL secretly engineered a 49ers-Chiefs matchup just so Taylor Swift can turn your children into drag queens, is not only pointless, it's harmful. And yet, it's also nearly impossible to resist.

V is for Vendetta Victory

The first step in fighting the information war is to know how to pick your battles, and what tactics you're going to employ. Here I'm going to steal a common framework that was first introduced to me by reader NatalieHB [1]. This is from the Grass Roots Messaging website:

For example, let's say you're arguing with your crazy uncle (or someone just like him online) who's extremely agitated about the "invasion" currently taking place on our southern borders. You could point out that the Biden administration has actually done a better job of policing the border than the previous administration, and has released significantly fewer migrants into the general population. [2]

But facts slide right off people like butter on the engine block of a Formula One race car. [3] Facts will not carry the day. Instead, you need to reframe the issue using the Three Vs: Values, Villain, Vision.

Sometimes it's impossible to reframe. For example, I occasionally find myself wasting my limited supply of brain cells on Quora, a question and answer site that's essentially a smarter version of Yahoo Answers. (Note: It is not possible to make a dumber version of Yahoo Answers.) [4]

ICYMI: Why the Internet sucks (& what you can do about it)

Over the last few years, Quora has been invaded by professional trolls who spin up outrageous questions for the sole purpose of making people angry. Angry people then respond to those questions, spreading the message to more people, generating more anger, exposing more people to these messages, and so on, ad infinitum, ad nauseam.

Like this one:

Well, at least they got the date right.

There is no way to reframe that question without spreading it further. It's like Covid for brain cells. So the only thing you can do is report the question (if it falls into one of the categories that violate Quora's rules, and unfortunately this one doesn't), downvote it so it's shown to fewer people, or ignore it. But lordy, don't you want to just smack this person upside the head with a few cold hard facts? I know I do.

The rules of the game

To recap, here are the basic rules for hand-to-hand combat online.

1. Be mindful of all your online activity. Remember, the algorithms are always watching.

2. Never argue with imbeciles, drunks, or lunatics, lest you be mistaken for one yourself.

3. Always use the Three Vs.

Also, I highly recommend subscribing to the FrameLab newsletter (and yes, it's still on the evil Nazi bar site, unfortunately). It's based on the writings of George Lakoff, UC Berkeley professor emeritus and leading thinker on the differences between conservative and liberal brains. Anything I know about this topic I learned from George (and Natalie).

Bottom line: You don't need to argue with everybody. And odds are you probably won't change the mind of the person you're jawing with. But you might reach some of the people who are watching you do it. And in this war, every person counts.

A programming note: If you like this blog post, please share it with two friends. If you didn't like this post, please share it with all your enemies, just to annoy them.

How do you deal with online trolls? Share your tales of woe in the comments field on the beehiiv site.

[1] Whatever you do, do not call her 'Nat.'

[2] This is from a story published by The Cato Institute, a Koch Bros-funded uber-libertarian think tank. Goddamned liberal media, amirite?

[3] This is just a simile; please do not try this at home or on the course at Le Mans.

[4] Earlier this month The Atlantic published an article by Jacob Stern titled, "If There Are No Stupid Questions, Then How Do You Explain Quora?" Worth a read.