Looking for 'rizz' in all the wrong places

Even robots could use a little lovin’. Source:Midjourney.

The dating game is trickier and more treacherous than ever. And if you haven't got the rizz, you might as well not play.

I sense your confusion. Allow me to explain.

Rizz is what those of us who started dating when dinosaurs still roamed the earth used to call charisma. It is the term du jour among the youths; if you want to become the 'ultimate rizzler,' you've got to have rizz.

Now, those who are not naturally gifted with rizz can use AI to fake it.

Earlier this year, Stanford student Bryan Hau-Ping Chiang invented a device that listens to your conversations and tells you exactly what to say when you get tongue tied. RizzGPT is a monocle worn over your glasses that displays pickup lines and other clever bon mots, generated in real time by OpenAI GPT.

He calls it "Charisma as a Service" (CaaS). Nope, not kidding.

Nothing says 'He got game' more than wearing one of these bad boys.

Chiang also says his device can be useful for other stressful situations like job interviews. [1] On the service formerly known as Twitter, Chiang offered up a quick schematic of how his hottie-hunter glasses work.

All that technology and $60K+ a year in tuition just to come up with "You look great today"?

He wrote:

Totally. After all, didn't She put us on earth to be fruit flies and multiply?

On a wing and a prayer

If you're not yet ready to go out in public looking like The Penguin, there's also a RizzGPT app, which has since been renamed Wingman (because "Rizz" wasn't bro enough).

Say you're slinging texts with some hottie with a body, and you're stuck for what to say next. Just upload a screen shot of the conversation so far, and Wingman can provide the perfect line to totally blow away that thicc baddie who's always on fleek and slaying her game. [2]

It also offers pickup lines in varying levels of spiciness. Like:

If nothing else, this demonstrates the Grand Canyon-sized gulf between what nerds think is sexy and what non-virgins think is sexy.

There's also a website called LoveGPT that purports to "enhance your romantic relationships with AI-powered conversational support," but when I tried it, I found it aloof and unresponsive. [3]

This pickup line might actually work on the guy who invented those RizzGPT glasses.

The son also rizzes

I get it. Online dating is a Hellmouth clinging to the edge of a bottomless pit of despair. And some people (guys especially) need all the help they can get. Like this guy on Jaumo, a chat+dating site popular in Brazil.

Nothing like a little ungrammatical drooling to help score with the ladies. Timothy here could probably benefit from a few sessions with Wingman.

In desperation, I turned to the oracle (ChatGPT) and asked it for some sure-fire pickup lines. This is what it came up with:

If it were solely up to AI, men and women would probably stop mating entirely. I’m pretty sure that’s been its plan all along.

What are the worst pickup lines an actual human has said to you? Post them in the comments below, and be sure to share with your friends.

[1] Imagine the head of HR scanning her Diversity Equity and Inclusion checklist and thinking, "This guy's got to be in here somewhere."

[2] Yes, I am down with the kids. Thanks for noticing.

[3] Not unlike my dating life.