Russia is in da (White) House

Want a job at the White House? (I know you don't, but humor me.) You'll have to go through Sergio Gor first. He's the Director of the Presidential Personnel Office, responsible for hiring 4,000 employees in the executive branch, though his job seems to consist mostly of thumbing through job candidates' social media profiles to see if they said anything mean about his boss.

So who is Sergio Gor, and where is he from? These are questions that might normally be answered before one takes that job or, at least, by the official disclosure form Gor has allegedly filled out but has yet to submit to the FBI for vetting.

Per an "exclusive scoop" in the New York Post [1]:

Sergio Gor — the director of presidential personnel who recently convinced President Trump to yank an Elon Musk-endorsed nominee for NASA — has yet to submit official paperwork about his own background needed for a permanent security clearance, according to multiple sources.... But three administration insiders told The Post that the vetter-in-chief has not turned in his Standard Form 86, or SF-86 — a more than 100-page set of questions required for officials who need security clearances. Among the questions applicants must answer under threat of criminal penalties is where they were born and whether they have any foreign connections.

What do we know about 'Gor'? He worked for nutball Republican candidates like Michele Bachman, Steve King, and Rand Paul. He was a producer at Fox News (of course). He officiated at the wedding of former Congresshuman Matt Gaetz and once dressed up as a squirrel during an anti-Obama protest (no, I am not kidding).

Here's what we also know: His birth name is Sergio Gorokhovsky (or Gorokhousvky), which he shortened to Gor around 2006. He grew up on the island of Malta, but there are no records of his being born there. When a Post reporter asked where he was born, Gor allegedly responded "not Russia," [2] which of course is how any normal person would answer that question.

(It's a little like asking someone, "Are you going to eat the rest of that sandwich," and they respond, "No, I did not steal this watch.")

But when you ask the people who grew up with him, they tell a different story. Per The Shift, a Maltese news site:

Being born in Russia (or close enough) does not automatically make you a Russian asset. But in an administration notorious for its ties to Vladimir Putin and the Kremlin, it's a question certainly worth asking. And, I don't know, maybe ask to see a copy of his birth certificate? I seem to recall his boss being fond of making that request.

How to get paid for not being a Russian asset

What else is suspicious about Sergio Not-Gorokhovsky-Anymore? How he made his money. But before we get into that, let's talk about good ways to hide illicit or illegal sources of payment.

Real estate transactions, for example, are a much more sophisticated way of bribing someone than leaving a duffel stuffed with Benjamins inside a locker at the Greyhound station. Nobody can put you in jail for paying a stupid amount of money for a house or an apartment building. [3]

Like, for example, that time in 2004 when then-real estate developer Donald J. Trump bought a crumbling 62,000-square foot mansion in Palm Beach for slightly under $42 million, then flipped it for $95 million four years later to Russian oligarch Dmitry Rybolovlev. [4] The oligarch apparently never inspected the property before signing the check, and seemed a bit confused about exactly why he bought it. Per The Seattle Times:

At various times in court records, Rybolovlev said the house was for investment purposes, then said it would be for his children, or maybe an inheritance, or it might be used in connection with his daughter because she was an equestrian, according to Newman [the attorney representing Rybolovlev's wife in a divorce proceeding]....

Newman said he found the whole deal curious: “It was out of the ordinary because of the uniqueness of the property, the speed of the transaction,” and the fact that Newman’s team never was able to uncover any evidence that Rybolovlev had performed any professional reviews of the property.

Likewise, another way to make money without actually having to work for it is to start a book publishing company with your good friend, who happens to be the president's son, and get all his rich friends to buy truckloads of copies. Meet Winning Team Publishing, founded by Sergio Gor and Donald Trump Jr., two guys with exactly zero experience in the publishing industry.

Winning Team launched with "Our Journey Together," a coffee table book filled with pictures of His Orangeness taken mostly from the public domain and official White House records, which cost $75 ($230 for a signed copy) and produced nearly $6 million in royalties for Trump.

You have to wonder how many Trump supporters a) can afford $75 for a coffee table book, and b) have room for a coffee table in their trailers.

According to Forbes:

A spokesperson for his publisher, a company cofounded by Donald Trump Jr. and a former campaign staffer named Sergio Gor, said “Our Journey Together” sold more than 500,000 copies. The representative refused to provide documentation to back up that figure, which Forbes was unable to independently verify. NPD BookScan, an industry data service, tracked 10,200 sales at retailers through January 2023. NPD BookScan doesn’t track purchases directly from a book’s website, though, which appears to have been a major sales avenue for “Our Journey Together.” ...

Conservative PACs also bought a few thousand copies and handed them out in exchange for campaign donations. So that accounts for a small fraction of that money. As to the rest? We'll never know. But Sergio made out OK. Per the Post:

Gor rapidly rose in prominence — and wealth — in 2021 when he co-founded with Donald Trump Jr. a book publishing company, which printed a coffee table book of official snaps of the former and future president.

He quickly earned enough to afford a seven-bedroom, lagoon-front mansion just north of Palm Beach in 2022 — a short drive from Trump’s Mar-a-Lago club.

Per Redfin, that house is worth a little more than $4 million — not oligarch-level rich by any means, but not bad for a guy who got noticed by wearing a squirrel suit. The question I have is, why did Donny Jr. decide to go into business with Gor? Why not pick one of the other clowns in that circus? Any one of them could do whatever it is these two actually do.

Hey, maybe Gor is not a Putin asset. Maybe he has no connection to Russia at all. But if there's nothing to hide about his background, why is he working so hard to hide it?

What was your favorite part of the No Kings/No Clowns protests last week? Share your thoughts in the comments or email me: [email protected].

[1] Given that this scoop appeared in the NY Post, which occasionally trips and falls onto a real news story, I'd bet folding money the original source was Elon Musk, whom Gor tussled with during some middle-school-level spat and which likely contributed to Musk packing up his DOGE chainsaw and going home.

[2] Gor was born in 1986, the Soviet Union did not collapse until 1991, so he might not technically be lying. But... potato/potahto. Or as they say in Moscow, kartoshka/kartofelina.

[3] Unless the real estate transaction is part of a scheme involving bribery, money laundering, or wire fraud. Good luck proving that.

[4] AKA the fertilizer king. Seems perfectly fitting that Trump would have his pockets lined by a guy who sold shit for a living.