Tech billionaires want to rule the world. We can’t let them.

Whenever I'm looking for a hot take on Free Speech, Foreign Policy, Immigration, Techno-Optimism, or Taylor Swift's career choices, I always seek out the nearest tech billionaire.

With nothing more than grit, determination, the complete works of Ayn Rand, and family money, these tech bros have endured the grueling hellscape of the Stanford MBA program and emerged to make the world a better place. [1] And as everyone knows, their IQs are directly proportional to the number of zeros in their brokerage accounts. [2] 

Now many of these bro-cons are bringing their expertise wisdom pathological sense of entitlement to the world of politics. And while tech bros won't make it to the White House this election cycle, they'll settle for a hostile takeover of San Francisco, complete with fascist trimmings. 

Bros and cons

Journalist Gil Duran of the New Republic (and FrameLab) has been tracking these "effective accelerationists (e/acc)" for a while now. Last week he published a profile of venture capitalist Balaji Srinivasan, who wrote a 2022 book detailing how to create "Network States" — sovereign nations ruled by technocrats outside the reach of democratically elected governments. 

The most well-known attempt at this is California Forever, a secretive "utopian city" on the outskirts of the Bay Area, which I wrote about here. 

Srinivasan has even more ambitious plans for San Francisco. Basically, he wants to turn it into an occupied territory, a city where "citizens loyal to tech companies would form a new political tribe clad in gray T-shirts," and build alliances with the police by giving their families jobs in tech companies. 

ICYMI: We’re living in the golden age of a**holes

In this scenario, the Grays are the direct enemies of the Blues, the liberal/progressive residents that comprise the vast majority of the city's population. [3] In a 4+ hour podcast, Srinivasan called for an "ethnic cleansing" of Blues. Not kidding.

Per Duran:

Grays would also receive special ID cards providing access to exclusive, Gray-controlled sectors of the city. In addition, the Grays would make an alliance with the police department, funding weekly “policeman’s banquets” to win them over.... Once an officer joins the Grays, they get a special uniform designed by their tech overlords. The Grays will also donate heavily to police charities and “merge the Gray and police social networks.” Then, in a show of force, they’ll march through the city together. 

He's calling it a "Gray Pride Parade." Because that's exactly the kind of 'joke' an Ayn-Rand-worshipping emotionally stunted 12-year-old would come up with. 

Funny, you don't look Blue-ish

Here's another joke that one of Srinivasan's closest buddies posted on Xitter last January, calling for the slow death of progressive members of San Francisco's Board of Supervisors. 

Garry Tan is CEO of Y-Combinator, perhaps the city's most famous startup incubator. [4] He later deleted the tweet, claimed he was drunk at the time, issued a pro forma apology, then embarked on a PR campaign to rehabilitate his reputation. That was after several supervisors reported receiving death threats.

Like Srinivasan, Tan is part of the Network State movement. He's also pouring money into San Francisco politics, hoping to defeat the same board members he urged to "die slow."

It will surprise no one to learn that these clowns a) hate journalists, who tend to reveal their identities and question their motives, and b) love Elon. [5] 

And this love reveals the real reason why Elon Musk set fire to $44 billion by acquiring Twitter: to create a technocrat-friendly megaphone that elevates their voices (while attacking anyone who criticizes them), all under the banner of Free Speech and Anti-Wokeism.

ICYMI: Misinformation is the point

This is not new. In November 2013, TechCrunch published an essay by writer Klint Finley titled "Geeks for Monarchy: The Rise of the Neoreactionaries." It neatly describes what animates the characters I've written about here — Srinivasan, Tan, Musk, as well as prominent VCs like Marc Andreessen, Peter Thiel, and David Sacks. 

Neoreactionaries are mostly white, mostly male technocrats who've decided that "freedom and democracy are incompatible," says Finley. They demand the right to say whatever the hell they feel like, but with zero repercussions for any damage that might cause. Essentially, they want the right to be racists without being called racists, then claim to be victims when they're no longer invited to all the cool kid parties. 

Finley writes: 

It’s not hard to see why this ideology would catch-on with white male geeks. It tells them that they are the natural rulers of the world, but that they are simultaneously being oppressed by a secret religious order. And the more media attention is paid to workplace inequality, gentrification and the wealth gap, the more their bias is confirmed.

Vote them off the island

I, for one, am bloody sick and tired of knobs who think making a ton of money investing in tech startups has earned them the right to rule the world. 

It would be easy to dismiss these people as self-deluded kooks, high on their own ego supply, if they didn't also have large followings, friendly media megaphones, and massive amounts of money behind them. 

This is not a drill, folks. When these people talk about ethnic cleansing of their political enemies, urging them to die slow, take them seriously. Your life, and mine, may depend on it.

Which spoiled tech manchildren get under your skin? Offer your candidates in the comments below or email me: [email protected].

[1] Primarily for themselves and manufacturers of $100 million super yachts. But it's a start.

[2] Seven zeros means you can open bags of salad mix without romaine flying in every direction. Ten zeroes or more? You're a super genius with the ability to colonize Mars while also filling the streets with cars that look like overgrown Tonka Toys. 

[3] Gee, Gray vs Blue. I wonder where he came up with those color schemes.

[4] Formerly run by Sam Altman, now top tech bro at OpenAI. Maybe you’ve heard of him?

[5] The Musk fluffing is really over the top. Srinivasan even suggested testing the loyalty of potential police allies by asking if they approved of Elon illegally removing the Twitter sign from the side of its SF headquarters. (I'm guessing the only acceptable answer to that question is "f*ck yeah!")

[6] Per a February 2021 story by the New York Times' Cade Metz, Finley's story prompted Srinivasan to write an email suggesting his followers "dox [reporters] and turn them inside out with hostile reporting sent to their advertisers/friends/contacts."