We doth not protest enough

I gotta give the current administration credit. It was kind of brilliant to take our focus off the idiots in charge of our national security, Elon Musk's Acne Avengers, and innocent green-card-and-visa-holding students being abducted off the streets by black-hooded ICE goons, by completely tanking the global economy in just three days. That's some 17-dimensional chess they're playing over there on Pennsylvania Avenue.

Wait — I've just received word that the tariffs are off. No, wait, they're back on again. OK, now they're off.

Also, your 401K just dialed the suicide prevention hotline. So everything is going just peachy.

The good news: Dissent is not dead. In fact, it's really only getting started.

First, there was Cory Booker's bladder-defying 25 hour speaking marathon, which if nothing else, reminded everyone once again what a racist piece of shit Strom Thurmond was. [1] I watched the last bits, and I have to say I was moved. Chuck Schumer is still as useless as a damp Kleenex, but it was good to see somebody in the Senate has a spine.

There was the Associated Press winning back the right to cover this clown show up close and personal, at least for the moment — The Gulf of America Mexico be damned.

Then, of course, there were the Hands Off protests last weekend. Did they accomplish much beyond getting people out on a lovely spring day and boosting the magic marker and cardboard industries? In the short term, no. In the long term... maybe.

I'll yield the floor to Framelab's Gil Duran:

Millions of people nationwide stepped out of their homes and into the streets this weekend. They didn’t do it for show. They did it because something in them said: Enough. From New York to Nashville, Oakland to Omaha, a powerful wave of people united to defend our democracy, freedom, and future. Over 1,300 Hands Off protests took place on April 5. Those in power want us to be afraid. They want us isolated, overwhelmed, convinced we can do nothing. But when people stand up publicly — in huge numbers — it cracks that illusion wide open.

You can say that the Hands Off protests were entirely symbolic, and you would not be wrong. But symbols matter. And in politics, they matter a lot. The side that does the best job of manipulating symbols usually wins. It's why the Republicans wrap themselves in the flag at every opportunity. [2]

For example: That video of Kristi Noem (aka ICE Barbie) standing in front of a bunch of tattooed El Salvadorian prisoners while wearing a $60K Rolex? That was symbolism, designed to send a message to the rest of us. The only thing I don't understand is why they didn't think of bringing her a puppy so she could shoot it in the head. Missed opportunity, that.

They're hoping that by showing isolated incidents of jackbooted thuggish behavior, the rest of us will be cowed into silence. The problem with that strategy... is math. There's way more of us than there are of them.

Signs of the crimes

I think we learned in 1938 that appeasement doesn't work, even if some law firms, universities, and senators didn't get that memo. The only way to deal with bullies is to stand up to them in sufficient numbers and at high volume. And a great way to do that is to mock them mercilessly. Which is why I've culled some of my favorite protest signs from the Hands Off protest.

By itself, holding up a bunch of signs isn't going to stop them from running roughshod over our Constitution or throwing people into foreign gulags. But it sends a message: There are a lot of us, and we will not go quietly.

Here's The Atlantic's Elaine Godfrey:

In interviews with some of those gathered today on the National Mall, demonstrators told me that they were under no illusion that Trump or Elon Musk would be much swayed by their anger or creative signage. The point, they said, was to show the rest of America that the opposition exists—and is widespread. “This is not for them,” Gina King, a retired teacher from New York City, told me. “This is for us.”

Send them our best fishes

Holding up snarky signs is fun, and you know deep down it really irks them. But it's not enough. We need more creative forms of protest. For example, there's this:

I know what you're thinking: Is it really possible to send someone a dead fish in the mail? And, as it turns out, it is! A website called The Payback ("Revenge at its finest") allows you to take advantage of the US Postal Service to send your former friends and associates exactly what you feel they deserve, whether that's a dozen dead roses, a box of melted chocolates, or, yes, 1 Dead Smelly Fish. [3]

Of course, sending a deceased mackerel to the White House might get the attention of the Secret Service. But I'm sure Mar-a-Lago would be a fine substitute.

The Tynan Files will be taking a much needed pause next week, returning later in the month (assuming I am not abducted by ICE Barbie’s goons and thrown into an El Savadorian hell hole before then). Share your thoughts in the comments below or send bail money to [email protected].

[1] And also that he had an illegitimate black daughter he kept secret for 80+ years.

[2] Except, of course, when 7 Republican members of Congress are traveling to Moscow to pow-wow with Vladimir Putin — and I can't believe this is actually true, but it is — on fucking JULY 4TH, 2017.

[3] Does this actually work? I have my doubts. But it's fun to think about.